Between the Covers With Schwarzenegger

When Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't busy making crappy movies, running California into the ground, or knocking up the staff, characters based on his likeness have appeared in comic books and comic book movies for quite a few years.  In fact, before he took "responsibility" for a child he kept hidden for years, he was set to be the subject of a new comic book (the title of which is ridiculous and I will not give credit to here).

Conan.  Terminator.  Mr. Freeze.  He was even attached to Sgt. Rock at one point.  The only person I can think who has had more comic book appearances based on characters he's played is Harrison Ford.

I've always been a fan of Conan, both the novels and the Marvel and Dark Horse comics.  There's something very primal about a character who just screws women, eats and kills.  That said, I don't like the Conan movies starring Arnie and his Frankenstein-like skull.  He destroyed the character, and I think if Conan were real he'd probably have Arnie's misshapen skull on a pike.  Arnie is the exact opposite of Conan.  He is deceitful, cowardly and little more than a rogue.  Conan makes no apologies for what he is, and he does not lie about it.  The Terminator, on the other hand, makes far more sense.

The Terminator started out in movies and then quickly moved into the realm of comics.  The story was tailor made for the art form, so there's no surprise there.  The character fits Arnie, too.  He is a programmed killing machine, which is really just a fancy euphemism for a politician.  While I enjoyed the first two films, the comic books never caught my interest.  He's kind of boring.

Blue Water Comics did an actual comic book about the man who would break California.  I have no idea what the sales were like on it, but I can't imagine it outsold many titles.  (I wonder how many kids saw the cover and thought, "Dad?")  Political comics, while covered in the press, rarely sell impressive numbers.  The story of one's political life just doesn't make for engaging comic reading.  Perhaps now that all the dirt is coming out on him, Eros can do one of its infamous "adult" comics.  I would probably buy that title.  No panels with Maria, though.  There's only so much skull monster comic porn that I can take.