Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sarah Palin -- Comic Book Hero

Few female politicians have been honored with a comic book. Now, I haven't read this one and see no real reason to, as I am not a fan of the woman, but I imagine it's a toss-off job that reads exactly as one would expect it to. What I have discovered is that Palin (the real one, not the one competently drawn on this cover) is actually a composite of female heroes and villains.

First and foremost, Palin is as nutty as one of my favorite female characters -- Scarlet Witch. In fact, I can easily picture her whispering, "No more democrats." Poof! All but a handful are left. (If that every becomes the case, I hope the Kennedy Klan is not Left Behind.)

Palin's glasses also bring to mind Oracle. Put Palin in a wheelchair (please!), give her a headset and a Macbook Pro, and that bitch be laying down some important info to Limbaugh.

Overall, Palin's demeanor reminds me of the Goblin Queen. Can't you see her with a chalice ordering people (most likely her neighbors the Russians) captured and brought to her realm? I can, and it scares me.

I cannot prove any of this, but I think her dropping out of politics has everything to do with her wanting to put on tights (beware the camel toe, guvner) so she can fight crime in style. I picture her in some overpriced, yet modest get up (think Power Girl without the circle exposing her cleavage) that features yellow as its primary color with a red cape and thigh-high black boots. "She's dropping jaws and criminals! She's Alaskan Avenger! Defender of truth and pipelines. Advocate for victims and special needs children. She not only proves that crime doesn't pay, but that it can be painful. She's Alaskan Avenger! Friend to the downtrodden. Pal to the poor. And if you mention you vote democrat ... well, she'll help you, too! Heck, you may need even more help from ... the Alaskan Avenger!"

Either that or she is possibly the target of a much-needed criminal investigation.

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